Late Phil Werdell meant far more to me than just the legendary food addiction expert whom I highly appreciate and respect. He was, and will continue to be, my precious savior, and a beacon of knowledge, hope, resilience, and inspiration in my life.
From our initial email exchanges in May 2011, it was evident that Phil, along with his beloved wife, Mary, had a genuine desire to assist food addicts in overcoming their suffering and embarking on the path to recovery. This commitment and kindness shone through our interactions.
In July 2011, I had the privilege of meeting Phil in person during a Primary Intensive Course. Until the sorrowful day of his passing on September 9, 2023, I was fortunate to remain in contact with him through my participation in several Primary Intensives, in-person meetings in the US and Jordan, and various online exchanges. Our connection remained a source of continuous enlightenment, strength, wisdom, and inspiration in my recovery journey and my life in general.
The priceless personal memories he, Mary, my husband and I shared during our time in Amman, Jerash, Aqaba, the Dead Sea, Sarasota, and Bradenton will forever remain cherished.
I often find myself reflecting on those pivotal moments where his impressive competence and empathetic demeanor skillfully broke my denial and tamed my ego. His efforts played a crucial role not only in safeguarding me from relapse, but also in making my recovery more fulfilling and my life more manageable. I also can't help but smile and sigh every time I recall Phil's reaction when my fellow food addicts and I persisted in discussing food specifics and weight-related topics. During those moments, I envisioned Phil as a skilled captain navigating a ship through challenging waters, tirelessly and patiently steering us away from the 'dieting mentality' trap, and guiding us toward embracing the 'abstinence mentality,' as if he were leading us to a safer harbor.
Phil Werdell, I love you. I say it with a sigh and a smile.
If it hadn't been for the notable efforts that the late Phil and Mary put into creating and delivering outstandingly effective and well-structured food addiction recovery programs, my thirty-year tormenting battle with food addiction wouldn't have come to an end, and my beautiful journey to recovery wouldn’t have materialized. Furthermore, there were numerous individuals in Jordan and beyond who learned about ACORN's recovery programs through my journey, with some having the privilege of meeting Phil in person and learning directly from him.
Interestingly, many people who offered me condolences for Phil's passing expressed concerns about the potential for my relapse in the wake of this tragic event. What they may not have realized is that my amazing spiritual mentor, Phil, had been keen to preventing me from developing a dependency on him or anyone else to sustain my recovery. He consistently emphasized that food addicts in recovery should lean solely on their Higher Power, the spiritual principles ingrained in the 12-step program, and the wealth of scientific knowledge within the field of food addiction to maintain their recovery journey.
When it comes to the remarkable and lovely couple, Mary and Phil, or Phil and Mary, or even Fary and Mil 😊, I've always been captivated by the way they harmoniously complement each other, be it at professional events or during more casual times. I often pictured Mary as Phil's reliable charging device, always providing him with the boost of power he needed. Now, with Phil's passing, I find myself picturing Phil as Mary's charging device, offering her strength, hope, and reassurance as she continues her recovery journey and the path forward in life. As I write these words, I can't help but chuckle while recalling how Mary would playfully raise a piece of paper with "Bottom Line" written in bold letters, signaling to Phil that his speaking time was over or he had strayed off-topic.
May Phil's soul find eternal peace, and may Mary be blessed with enduring health, a steady recovery, and the strength and comfort to endure the absence of her beloved Phil.
Raja Batarseh
Amman- Jordan
19 OCT 2023